Thawinary 6. Chocolate Crisis!

Polyesterdeolphia Tribune

Chocolate Crisis!

polyesterdelphia

Tom Peakinsnoop

The rioting in Bognoodle Junction, Pigbelly Bottom, and Smodjegrime has spread to Polyesterdelphia today, triggered by confectionary store closeures city wide. To blame? The stoppages in chocolotl imports from Guapamolotl, as Hermanos Rojos bandits attack cocoa shipments northbound, and divert them to the east, to the PDSR presumably via intermediate states.

Ivan Snotsky, Ambassador of the PDSR, has had no comment on the situation officially. Sources in diplomatic circles see no indications that the Steppe Republic intends to intervene, and in fact may be profiting from the situation, arming the Guapamolotl Rebels in return for the illicit chocolate.

Prince Whipstash of Vynalville has Gone on Record thusly, "I find this simply one more instance of Steppe Republic perfidy. The willing encouragement of Bad Sorts must be brought to an end. Our people are suffering, not just the commoners either! Why, I haven't eaten chocolate pudding in two weeks! If the PDSR continues to undermine the stability of our nation there will be consequence! Stern Consequences!"

When asked if there would be a military response the Prince declined to say.

At this time Polyesterdelphia's Constabulary has called people out of retirement, and even enlisted the Brownies to "man" the barricades and bring some order to the streets.

26th of Griddle

Centenial Celebrations

Polyesterdelphia Daily Snoop

Polyesterdelphia

Ethel Presspounce, reporter

Hundreds thronged the streets of Poolyesterdelphia waving the Burgundy and Gold flags in a long wait for the annual Dollarstore Row Parade.

This years' parade, organized by the city's alderman council will be the 100th since the founding of the IInd Polyester Freestate, and marks the signing of the Great Abdication on the 26th of Griddle, 1910.

This year the Parade Marshall is Cadwallader Frenzy, the newly elected Mayor, who has come under public scrutiny for allegations of electoral fraud.

Says the mayor; "Dammitall!, I bought my election fair and square and I'm tired of poor losers' whining about it. This is a celebration! Look, we have balloons, clowns, floats, marching bands and a duck. I'll even be passinbg out chocolate coins and kissing babies. What the hell else do they want?"

The city fire department will be sponsoring the annual fireworks display. This years' pyrotechnics include the biggest Firesnake ever, a giant exlplooding champaigne bottle, enormous pop rocks and an 8 story bottle rocket. Subscriptions will be taken to raise money for a new firetruck as well, the previous one having melted during the Bakin Beans Bonfire two years ago.

According to the Commisioner of Police the PPD is not expecting any violence or disturbances this year, although Rhett Minance the head of the ultra rightest Christian National Theological Unity Front, (or CNTUF, or Sintough as it has been called) has promised to picket the proceedings, a promise which last year let to a riot, breaking windows of two establishments and the burning of a third, the old Book-Nook and Comic Corner.

Back Online!

Greetings! It's so good to have the computer back. I love the internet, really I do. OK, It's been a while since I've paid attention to Ornria's blog, mostly because the computer was at the Doctor's... Over 300 worms and virii! Ugh! Well, there's a lot going on in the Imagination, so before I catch you, my dear reader, up on it all, I'd best make a few background notes. First, an explanation of the Ornrian Calendar. It's not complicated, but Ornria does use a diffrent calendar from the one you most likely are used too. Ornrians are lazy mathematicians so they have a simple calendar. 12 months of 30 days each. Period. The twelve months are named; Frostember, Thawinary, Rainuary, Mudember, Smellgoodie, Swimuary, Sweatember, Griddle, Antember, Piefestober, Chillin (or Chillings), Freezeuary. Back to a normal font now. It's pretty easy to guess the prevailing weather from the month's name hunh? That should give you enough of a grounding to follow the news clippings I've made. Back in Griddle (last summer) I caught this headline in the Polyesterdelphia Daily Snoop;

MARCHER HAROLD SPEAKS BEFORE HUNDREDS.

Hashhaven, Mantississpi

Ed Snoopnose

Today before a crowd of hundreds Marcher Harold, the crowned head of Mantissippi decried the recent raiding of the Poxneedle and Burntwick areas of the country. The People's Democratic Steppe Republic officially repudiates the ethnic Slobbian border raids, but has done little to prevent them. Meanwhile angry locals armed with Molotov cocktails and farm equipment have begun riots in the eastern cities as far north as Untwich and Cob.

Slobbian raiders drive thier Mastodon herds into local farm fields and orchards, the destruction of which has severly hurt the economy of eastern Mantissippi and prompted fears of winter starvation among many eastern residents.

In the Capitol of Diston the Richystog has come close to declaring a state of emergency, but left-wing members of the People's Democratic Party (PeoDep), have so far prevented that drastic measure. Chancellor Snifwiddle's statement on Monday that was seen by many to promise a harsh response was softened by Marcher Harold's pronouncement;

"The March on Mantissippi appreciates the Government of the PDSR's efforts to curb these intrusions, and fully expects it will put an end to them shortly. We are a peaceful and civilized nation, and we are a stalwart nation. Every one of my people has four cheeks, and we WILL present each in turn in the spirit of Peace."

It is to be expected that Mantissipian efforts to maintain peace will continue through the months ahead, despite the eastern provincial unrests. It has been noted that niether country has begun a military buildup, however Mantissippi has despatched a large part of it's state police force to the region.