26th of Griddle

Centenial Celebrations

Polyesterdelphia Daily Snoop

Polyesterdelphia

Ethel Presspounce, reporter

Hundreds thronged the streets of Poolyesterdelphia waving the Burgundy and Gold flags in a long wait for the annual Dollarstore Row Parade.

This years' parade, organized by the city's alderman council will be the 100th since the founding of the IInd Polyester Freestate, and marks the signing of the Great Abdication on the 26th of Griddle, 1910.

This year the Parade Marshall is Cadwallader Frenzy, the newly elected Mayor, who has come under public scrutiny for allegations of electoral fraud.

Says the mayor; "Dammitall!, I bought my election fair and square and I'm tired of poor losers' whining about it. This is a celebration! Look, we have balloons, clowns, floats, marching bands and a duck. I'll even be passinbg out chocolate coins and kissing babies. What the hell else do they want?"

The city fire department will be sponsoring the annual fireworks display. This years' pyrotechnics include the biggest Firesnake ever, a giant exlplooding champaigne bottle, enormous pop rocks and an 8 story bottle rocket. Subscriptions will be taken to raise money for a new firetruck as well, the previous one having melted during the Bakin Beans Bonfire two years ago.

According to the Commisioner of Police the PPD is not expecting any violence or disturbances this year, although Rhett Minance the head of the ultra rightest Christian National Theological Unity Front, (or CNTUF, or Sintough as it has been called) has promised to picket the proceedings, a promise which last year let to a riot, breaking windows of two establishments and the burning of a third, the old Book-Nook and Comic Corner.