...Somewhere in Mantissippi

Polyesterdelphia Prattle-Herald

Anonymous member of the Regiment

Last night the Anneglug Chasseurs bivouaced among the splintered trees of a once fine pear orchard, now devestated by Republican Mammoths. The Wooly beasts have left foul smelling calling cards all over the wreckage. Even more awful are the swollen bug infested carcasses of the beasts. Local Vigilante groups, pushed into killing the monsters to protect thier homes and fields, have triggered the war at last. Two days ago unidentified elements of the People's Army of the People's Democratic Steppe Republic pushed beyond the frontier into Mantissippi. Some of them have dug in for the night only a few dozen yards away from this point. Thier apish crude laughter sits heavy on the crisp night air, and burning pearwood smoke from thier campfires gives a bleak autumnal atmosphere to the theater. The shooting hasn't started in earnest. There is only lazy shelling of this position. It seems the enemy is disorganized and poorly supplied. Our brave Army of the Expedition is digging in. These Anneglug Chasseurs are valiant people. We know we may soon face the legions of People's Tanks, and we have little to stop them with but courage. Ours is a light regiment, swift to respond but lacking in heavy weapons. There is one machine gun in the regiment. One anti-tank gun, no bazookas, no mortars. If the enemy presses hard we will have to fall back, But that's our job here, to buy the allies time. We will do that job. Our blood will be a wall, a hedge, and wading through us will be like swimming in molasses. The Jack-Boots of the People's Army are going to find it hard going as we are in good spirits. There is little fear, and much excitement. Tonight is perhaps the last respite. Dawn will bring the war. The Freestate will prevail, you at home will make it so. As brave as we Chasseurs are, you must be braver still. It will take sacrifice to stand up to the Mob Dictatorship of our enemy, for they are numerous, viscious, and driven. Freedom and Justice under the guidance of faith will give us a positive conclusion. So work hard, be frugal, and buy war bonds. We will win through your labors. Amen

18 Thawninary

Jabjotha Desert Scarab

OPPRESSORBADNESS

Jabjotha, Yarkastan Jabber Telallah

Once again Oppressorbad has closed it's borders. During the night Concrete Barriers were erected on the Afeekashban,Dogchewigrad, and Cappochino Railroad. Agog and Podunk report similar closures.

Gray tanks have been spotted on maneuvers in the disputed territory north of the Asp River. Oppressorbad officials are silent, and the Hemmer Confederation denys any involvement in the armored incursion.

His Excellency the Pooba of Yarkastan has put negotiations with Agog on hold, possibly to avoid further antagonizing the government of Oppressorbad.

Chairman Glumjaw, Oppressorbad's aging dictator, is not known to have made a public appearance since the Annual Freezuary 13th Parade in Styrofoamybad. Rumors that he is being succeeded by a government of hardliners possibly headed by Party Secretary Punknose are unconfirmed at this time.

13 Thawinary

Kiltrash Examiner

Trade Resumes!

Kiltrash, Earldom of Ear

Jock Mcintosh

This afternoon a new trade agreement between the Earldom and the Marquisate of Gueret goes into effect, ending the 10 month import ban Gueret had imposed on Earish wool and mutton. The glut of wool, and the scarcity of Gueret butter and guapamolotl Chocolotl brought new experiments in cuisine from our enterprising island nation.

Among our successes; a margarine of wool lanolin and sheep milk, and a

'chocolate' bar whose recipe is a secret, though it does use sheep products. (It tastes brown in this editor's opinion.) Also Potatoscotch, a butterscotch alternative, and a potato/Lanolin shortbread cookie.

No matter the hardships our National breakfast of kippers and groats has remained unchanged!

Speaking today from Perpiggy in the Marquisate the Earl of Ear had this to say;

"It ghives me grrreat joy ta see our wee dif'rences sa well patched upp!"

The Marquis of Gueret in his turn at the podium declared;

"Hit Eees Joyeuse that Fraternite et diplomacee can overcome le differahncees of zees too grreat peoples! Viva la diffherance!"

The Ambassador of Dundoon pleaded no comment on the development though unconfirmed rumors that Dundoon has expanded it's submarine fleet does give one pause.

Dundoon and Summartha continue to be the Marquisates principle markets, so it is unlikely that Gueret has signed any military agreements with our Earldom. The old treaties remain in force however, providing for a naval alliance with Gueret in case of war with Illee.

11 of Thawinary

TREATY WITH PODUNK

From the Drawingboard Daily Wind, Squigglesbottom, Queendom of Ilee

Olander Prigg reporting

The Queen spoke today amid the Roses of her Retreat at Skigglesbottom. Her Majesty was pleased to announce a Tripartate Friendship and Trade Treaty between the Queendom, The 2nd Polyester Freestate, and Podunk.

She praised the work of her royal sister, the Dame of Winklewikky, Special Envoy to the Freestate and Podunk.

Meanwhile the tension mounts with Podunk's nieghbor Oppressorbad whose Satrap has said Very Nasty Things about our beloved Queen.

Podunk is, in addition, fending off Etrulian accusations of overfishing the Bronx River, a ridiculous claim from a nation which has 7 barge fish factories on the river itself.

It is a concern with this editor that we may be drawn into a general war. Certainly the Ministry of the Military cannot be seriously contemplating involving our valiant small army on the continent? Who could consience such folly?

Gazetteer of the Freestate

I've been sorta thinking aloud on the Oldschool Wargaming Yahoo Group here are the firmest current figures for the Freestate; Population 56,300 Yearly National Revenue: 2,026,800 Bills Currancies (or Coins) Yearly Military Budget: 810,720 Coins Maximum Military Manpower Pool; 18,766 (includes all able-bodied male citizens15-80 and female citizens 17-70) Yearly Eligible for Service; 235 new recruits Current total Officers and Enlisted; 5,630 Reserve Pool; 2,814 A quick Gazetteer for the IInd Polyester Freestate; The Second Polyester Freestate occupies about 603 square feet. It is bordered by the Sogbottom River to the West, beyond which frontier lies Mantissippi. The southern frontier is the Soupstone River, beyond which is the Ethnically Polyesterian regions of Guapamolotl. To the West is the Wetwater Sea and the Inkpen Channel. The Southeastern Frontier lies at the foothills of the Plaster-Mache Mountains, and The Dutchy of Gross-Montaigne. The nation is dominated by the wide waters of the great PotomacAndCheese River. It's five largest cities are; Polyesterdelphia, pop. 14,075, in 175 structures Heavy Flashing, pop 12,063, in 150 structures Testorton, pop. 11,500 in 143 structures Roach Harbor, pop. 11,575 in 142 structures Thumpbunny, pop. 11,000 in 137 structures 4 major towns; Bad Mouldings pop. 3,000 in 45 structures Spunkdumpling, pop 2,500 in 45 structures Old Penny, pop. 2,250 in 34 structures Smudjegrime, 2,000 in 30 structures Sugulfly, pop. 1,800 in 27 structures And the 19 towns or villages of; Ejectionpin Junction, Pop 567 in 10 structures Glumfelt , pop 550 in 9 structures Happyvale, pop. 525 in 8 structures Naus, pop. 500 in 8 structures VPDCD (Vynal Parachuteguy Deployment Center Delta), pop 480 in 8 structures Vinalville , pop 450 in 7 structures Plufflumi, pop 440 in in 7 structures Featherfall Field, pop 433 in 7 structures Smufftrout, pop 427 in 7 structures Brittlebreak, pop 426 in 7 structures Bognoodle Junction, pop 425 in 7 structures Souppot, pop 403 in 6 structures Brubberband, pop 397 in 6 structures Paperclip Landing, pop 383 in 6 structures Smelfty, pop 380 in 6 structures Nog, pop 300 in 6 structures Dogswollow, pop 300 in 6 structures Slurpsod, pop 299 in 6 structures Stenshpaush, pop 220 in 6 structures A word on "structures" . To represent cities in Ornria I use Christmas Village ceramic or resin houses, wooden buildings, and home made paper buildings roughly HO scale-ish. By the word structure I'm meaning the equivalent of a one story house about 6x6 inches. Two such stories would equal 2 "structures". a large 20 story skyscraper 2 feet on a side would equal 80 structures as it equals four structures a level for 20 levels. Thus the word structure above doesn't correspond to the word "Building". With this method I can hope to represent even Polyesterdelphia on the "tabletop" or front yard. I'd only need 10 or so skyscrapers and a few lesser buildings... You might also note that living conditions are way more crowded in cities than villages...

11 Thawnuary, 2011

GENERALISSIMO SPEAKS!

Mosquitotuch, Wormwood

Melvin Toast reporting

Generalissimo Pip Skeek addressed an assembly of prominant Generals, Captains of Industry, and Foriegn Officials today in the Place of Elephants, amid the opulant splendor on an Asian palace the glittering assembly was picture perfect.

Prominant among the gathering were several Foo-Ee tycoons, a delegation from Gross-Montaigne, and the Protectorate Administrator Baron Von Baconbach.

The Generalissimo assured the assembly that the rebels were being taken seriously and that "Extreme Measures" were being taken "to avert future bombing incidents in the Foriegn Quarter."

This comes as a response to a rash of primitive bombs and molotov cocktail attacks in the foriegn quarter. Hardest hit was the Foo-Ee Consulate.

Ambassador Chow-Myn had this to say; "We deplore the incident and are becoming frustrated with the Dependency Government's unwillingness to use harsh measures to control these hoodlums"

The Protecorate Administration has been in the control of Mantz for three decades, but the Chocolate Crisis has put more power in the hands of Cocoa planters from the Southern Rotwood Delta. Most of these are Foo-Ee citizens, raising the question, " is Foo-Ee set to replace Mantz as the new Protectorate Administrators, and will Mantz let go of it's hold on the richest Plastic and Twinkie mines in the world?"

As we ask this question the IInd Polyester Freestate, Guapamolotl, and Mantissippi have all recently released statements accusing the Skeek Government of gross human rights violations,and in one case attatcking the Protectorate as a "Grossly Unfair Colonial Relic."

It is reported that the Generalissimo has given his Secret Police the widest discression in it's efforts to smash the Rebels, and contain the endemic smuggling, graft, and slave-trading in the contryside.

n recent days several prominant citizens have dissapeared, presumably kidnapped by Rebels, or imprisioned by police. One body has been recovered.

The body belonged to Mine Magnate Butterbatter Von Kipperpie. He was found completely stuffed with Twinkies. It is unknown if this is the work of Rebels, the Tongs, illicit Twinkie Smugglers, the Police, or just an irate maid who has been held for questioning.

The Generalissimo was at pains to make his gratitude to the people of Mantz known, praising the recently arrived detatchments of the Mantzish Army loaned to assist the Government in keeping the peace.

8 Thawinary 2011

HARD TIMES IN THE DUTCHY

Schroodle Standard, Arnolf Typinglots

The Chocolate Crisis continues to spiral out of control as the value of the Ducat fell to new lows on the Exchange. The Great Duke has called on his people to stay calm in a radio broadcast today.

"My Phrends, my Schtalvart Peeple, Ophten Hhav or peeple faced Hhard times. Our Chocolate iz the bescht in the vorld! This Everyonebody knows! So it iss Hhard to schee how zis all vill be vell vitout our Cocoalotl imports. I schay to you - Fear Not! Your Duke vill schoften dis ehvil on you! Mine household has begunz alreadyz to econamise und tightenz our belts! Our yound prince, your princessesz und the Dutchess vill gharden und hunt just az the poorest of you must. Our Home, zis castlehoff, vill be hopened to warm our good friends, the people of our nation, who ar in zis distress. Our treasury iz vell schtocked, und our ambassadorz abroad are arrangink for our future vell-being. I encourage you! Ve Can be Vell und VE Can Be Safe! Do we not build ze best clocks, the finest cameras? Ze whorlt vill schtill use our banks! Let us schmile dat Providenze haz scho vell schupplied us! Giveunze Thanks for All Vill Be Well!"

It is believed that Ducal Ambassadors moved by train to the PDSR last night. The question; What does the Socialist Republic want? Surely cameras and clocks will not have great weight with them.

Unmentioned in the speech went the acknowledged superiority of Pukkerups Gun Works. The Freestate nervously eyes the Dutchy, as the Mantissippi Question hangs unanswered in the air. What is to be thought if the PDSR brings Ducal Guns to Mantissippi? Will the 2nd Polyester Freestate intervene? Will it trigger a general war? This editor hopes not.

The Academy of Natural Philosophy

In today's news; Polyesterdelphia Herald. Anton Icanreed. "The Academy of Natural Philosophy printed the newest Mappamundi, or World Map today. The large map is considered both a work of art, and the most accurate and precise illustration of Ornria ever attempted. It has been recieved with rave reviews, and the Original is now a part of the permanant collection of the Polyesterdelphia Civic Museum." Below is a series of color photographs of the original.

Thawinary 6. Chocolate Crisis!

Polyesterdeolphia Tribune

Chocolate Crisis!

polyesterdelphia

Tom Peakinsnoop

The rioting in Bognoodle Junction, Pigbelly Bottom, and Smodjegrime has spread to Polyesterdelphia today, triggered by confectionary store closeures city wide. To blame? The stoppages in chocolotl imports from Guapamolotl, as Hermanos Rojos bandits attack cocoa shipments northbound, and divert them to the east, to the PDSR presumably via intermediate states.

Ivan Snotsky, Ambassador of the PDSR, has had no comment on the situation officially. Sources in diplomatic circles see no indications that the Steppe Republic intends to intervene, and in fact may be profiting from the situation, arming the Guapamolotl Rebels in return for the illicit chocolate.

Prince Whipstash of Vynalville has Gone on Record thusly, "I find this simply one more instance of Steppe Republic perfidy. The willing encouragement of Bad Sorts must be brought to an end. Our people are suffering, not just the commoners either! Why, I haven't eaten chocolate pudding in two weeks! If the PDSR continues to undermine the stability of our nation there will be consequence! Stern Consequences!"

When asked if there would be a military response the Prince declined to say.

At this time Polyesterdelphia's Constabulary has called people out of retirement, and even enlisted the Brownies to "man" the barricades and bring some order to the streets.

26th of Griddle

Centenial Celebrations

Polyesterdelphia Daily Snoop

Polyesterdelphia

Ethel Presspounce, reporter

Hundreds thronged the streets of Poolyesterdelphia waving the Burgundy and Gold flags in a long wait for the annual Dollarstore Row Parade.

This years' parade, organized by the city's alderman council will be the 100th since the founding of the IInd Polyester Freestate, and marks the signing of the Great Abdication on the 26th of Griddle, 1910.

This year the Parade Marshall is Cadwallader Frenzy, the newly elected Mayor, who has come under public scrutiny for allegations of electoral fraud.

Says the mayor; "Dammitall!, I bought my election fair and square and I'm tired of poor losers' whining about it. This is a celebration! Look, we have balloons, clowns, floats, marching bands and a duck. I'll even be passinbg out chocolate coins and kissing babies. What the hell else do they want?"

The city fire department will be sponsoring the annual fireworks display. This years' pyrotechnics include the biggest Firesnake ever, a giant exlplooding champaigne bottle, enormous pop rocks and an 8 story bottle rocket. Subscriptions will be taken to raise money for a new firetruck as well, the previous one having melted during the Bakin Beans Bonfire two years ago.

According to the Commisioner of Police the PPD is not expecting any violence or disturbances this year, although Rhett Minance the head of the ultra rightest Christian National Theological Unity Front, (or CNTUF, or Sintough as it has been called) has promised to picket the proceedings, a promise which last year let to a riot, breaking windows of two establishments and the burning of a third, the old Book-Nook and Comic Corner.

Back Online!

Greetings! It's so good to have the computer back. I love the internet, really I do. OK, It's been a while since I've paid attention to Ornria's blog, mostly because the computer was at the Doctor's... Over 300 worms and virii! Ugh! Well, there's a lot going on in the Imagination, so before I catch you, my dear reader, up on it all, I'd best make a few background notes. First, an explanation of the Ornrian Calendar. It's not complicated, but Ornria does use a diffrent calendar from the one you most likely are used too. Ornrians are lazy mathematicians so they have a simple calendar. 12 months of 30 days each. Period. The twelve months are named; Frostember, Thawinary, Rainuary, Mudember, Smellgoodie, Swimuary, Sweatember, Griddle, Antember, Piefestober, Chillin (or Chillings), Freezeuary. Back to a normal font now. It's pretty easy to guess the prevailing weather from the month's name hunh? That should give you enough of a grounding to follow the news clippings I've made. Back in Griddle (last summer) I caught this headline in the Polyesterdelphia Daily Snoop;

MARCHER HAROLD SPEAKS BEFORE HUNDREDS.

Hashhaven, Mantississpi

Ed Snoopnose

Today before a crowd of hundreds Marcher Harold, the crowned head of Mantissippi decried the recent raiding of the Poxneedle and Burntwick areas of the country. The People's Democratic Steppe Republic officially repudiates the ethnic Slobbian border raids, but has done little to prevent them. Meanwhile angry locals armed with Molotov cocktails and farm equipment have begun riots in the eastern cities as far north as Untwich and Cob.

Slobbian raiders drive thier Mastodon herds into local farm fields and orchards, the destruction of which has severly hurt the economy of eastern Mantissippi and prompted fears of winter starvation among many eastern residents.

In the Capitol of Diston the Richystog has come close to declaring a state of emergency, but left-wing members of the People's Democratic Party (PeoDep), have so far prevented that drastic measure. Chancellor Snifwiddle's statement on Monday that was seen by many to promise a harsh response was softened by Marcher Harold's pronouncement;

"The March on Mantissippi appreciates the Government of the PDSR's efforts to curb these intrusions, and fully expects it will put an end to them shortly. We are a peaceful and civilized nation, and we are a stalwart nation. Every one of my people has four cheeks, and we WILL present each in turn in the spirit of Peace."

It is to be expected that Mantissipian efforts to maintain peace will continue through the months ahead, despite the eastern provincial unrests. It has been noted that niether country has begun a military buildup, however Mantissippi has despatched a large part of it's state police force to the region.

A new Armee - The Fabuluth Army

Following on the recent improvement in civil liberties resulting from the Liberal Freedom Acts, the Government today announced the formation of a new unit; the 5th Armee, to be called "The Fabuluth Army". While much is speculation still, it is known that the Department of the Armies has submitted calls for contracts that have Testorston Chemical jumping to produce gallons of pink paint and dye. Eagerly awaited are the regimental lists. This 5th Armee will have the responsibility of a "fire brigade" according to one source, being able to rapidly deploy it's units for the reinforcement of embattled or threatened theaters.