Polyesterdeolphia Tribune
Chocolate Crisis!
polyesterdelphia
Tom Peakinsnoop
The rioting in Bognoodle Junction, Pigbelly Bottom, and Smodjegrime has spread to Polyesterdelphia today, triggered by confectionary store closeures city wide. To blame? The stoppages in chocolotl imports from Guapamolotl, as Hermanos Rojos bandits attack cocoa shipments northbound, and divert them to the east, to the PDSR presumably via intermediate states.
Ivan Snotsky, Ambassador of the PDSR, has had no comment on the situation officially. Sources in diplomatic circles see no indications that the Steppe Republic intends to intervene, and in fact may be profiting from the situation, arming the Guapamolotl Rebels in return for the illicit chocolate.
Prince Whipstash of Vynalville has Gone on Record thusly, "I find this simply one more instance of Steppe Republic perfidy. The willing encouragement of Bad Sorts must be brought to an end. Our people are suffering, not just the commoners either! Why, I haven't eaten chocolate pudding in two weeks! If the PDSR continues to undermine the stability of our nation there will be consequence! Stern Consequences!"
When asked if there would be a military response the Prince declined to say.
At this time Polyesterdelphia's Constabulary has called people out of retirement, and even enlisted the Brownies to "man" the barricades and bring some order to the streets.
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