Etrulia (E-troo-lia), OFFICIALLY The Ancient and Perfect Etrulian Empire.
GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION.
Etrulia
is located on the Dragaloon Continent, South of Buslopia, East of
Guerat, West of Bertwood. It has a long Eastern
coastline
along
the Windy Wavewash, and a short stretch of Pearlfoam Abyss coastline
in the West.
Etrulia’s last census recorded 3840 Citizens
It’s Capitol city is the lovely Pizzalatzio in the Achellision Hills.
Etrulia’s largest city is Pizzalatzio with 897 residents, but Piastre is a close second with 729 inhabitants.
It’s main port is Piastre, but Vitapotata is also an important harbor city.
General Overview
Etrulia was inhabited very early in prehistory, Villages gave way to towns quickly and by late Antiquity Etrulia was the center of a great empire that stretched North into Bertwood, West up into the Buslopbian highlands, and to the South, all of Guerat, Oppressorbad, and into Mantz as far as Buderball and Batterbol, and even Shrudle in Gros Montaine. This empire was never completely stable and civil wars rocked it frequently through the early Middle Ages. In modern times it has become a shell of it’s former glorious self.
The nation is still notionally an Empire. The current Emperor; Joanna Jojosephat Jojohnjerryjosephjakes XXV is a 30 year old man with the mind and attention span of a 4 year old. His Vickers control him, and through his seals, the state. The most active is Vestarch Manfrid Smeed, Count of Gelatuna. Smeed is only one power behind the throne however, and the various Vestarch families are engaged in an endless round of backstabbing, poisoning, and chicanery to promote scions to the Vickeracy, and control the edicts released from the Palace. At this time there are 15 Vickers in the Palace, though that number can vary on a weekly, and in crisis, hourly, basis.
Though
teeming with citizens, it is among the poorest countries, it’s
crops are meager and easily fail in the overworked soils. It’s
industry is small scale, with limited investment, and it’s
military, though big enough, is weak in support weapons, armor, and
the other necessities of modern war. This reality is masked by it’s
ancient pride, and one would not know it’s empire is a tattered
rump of itself except by a close look at it’s pomp and
circumstance, where one sees threadbare red carpets, military parades
whose
soldiers are
armed with broomstick guns and
march in paper boots. At a ball one finds courtiers
whose dress is antique not only in style, but in actual fact, not
infrequently even the wealthiest
of Grandees
make appearances in finery of their grandparents, carefully hand
patched to hide the moth holes.
Etrulia signed on to the Goshtane Accords last year. The Goshtane Accords are an agreement between the 2PFS, Etrulia, Buslopbia, Agog, and Dundoon intended to make the seas safer for fishermen. Signers agree to provide assistance to mariners of all nations, and the Accord sets standards of international law with regards to salvage, fishing rights and other matters in the Pearlfoam Abyss, Windy Wavewash, and Dampgyre Waste. The ability of Abassador Fra Frangifrancis Ferryfertle Count of CantaElopia to manipulate the court into obtaining the two seals required was either the most incredible example of luck in modern times, or the result of shrewed and brilliant domestic politicking, Ambassador Ferryfertle is either worrisomely lucky, or dangerously brilliant.
Etrulia has been chary of allying itself with any nation since the Guerat Swamp Wars ended disastrously with Mantz, it’s last ally, signing a separate peace with Opressorbad. At this time pushing an agreement home through the obfuscation of the squabbling and myopic court would be more challenging than flying to the moon by waving featherdusters on the end of ones arms.
Languages
The Official Language of Etrulia is called, unsurprisingly, Etrulian. Surprisingly, no one can speak it outside a few dusty court scribes who keep it from being forgotten entirely by continuing to write copies of all court documents in the dead language, where they are uselessly archived until eaten by time and bookworms in the Imperial Library. All Actual functional documents are recorded in Frangfursh, a descendant of the form of Etrulian once spoken in the Hamhome region of Mantz 13 centuries ago, and now a (very) close relative of the Frankfurtish spoken in Guerat. (indeed, they are indistinguishable though the two nations take great pains pretending they are distinct). Frangfursh is the tongue of the middle and upper class, all books and newspapers one encounters are invariably written in it.
In addition, the lower classes of Etrulia have created a creole form called Furgish, a difficult slang filled degenerate used by the lowest echelons of society, and a form so barbarized and cacophonous that only a linguist could see it’s Ancient Etrulian ancestry.
ORIGIN OF NAME (ETYMOLOGY)
Etrulia is believed to derive from the exonym Yuriarte, (Onion Eaters), the designation ancient Agogite sources give to a people that once inhabited the Montcalifer area in deep antiquity. Dr. Nosysyr of the Pizzalatzio University disagrees, and prefers to see the origin in Etter Hitrula, meaning “Land of Enduring Peace” in early Etrulian. History
HISTORY.
Pre-history.
Fossils
are found in Rhuinridgia along the Bentborder that show early life in
Etrulia was a swampy cycad jungle of giant bugs and heavy bodied
predatory amphibians. The fossilized wood of this period has long
been a favorite of Etrulian stone workers and jewelers for it’s
vivid sunset pinks and purples. Later at least the flat lands of
mudopolia and ercule were inundated by tropical seas, since fossil
shell and coral has been found in some abundance, and Brazorbia has
long been a source of brilliantly colored stone formed of fossilized
coral reef. Volcanic activity rasied the land above the seas at some
distant deep past time, and the strange razor edged sculpted stones
of Rhuinridgia are the remains of the basalt cores of those ancient
fumeroles. Later volcanic activity created lava f ows that built up
into the fertile Achillesian Hills. Indeed Vulcanism has long been a
shaper of the Etrulian country and even today Titesian and
Oilypannier volcanoes pose a risk of violent eruption.
Perhaps the volcanoes were a source of warmth, for while Bertwood and much of the North were under sheets of ice, it seems Etrulia was a bit of paradise, fossils of huge sycamores, oaks, spruce, fir, and other large trees indicate a boreal rainforest environment inhabited by giant deer, Gompotheric Elephants, and dwarf hippos, and even lions and rhinoceros. These large animals must have drawn humans into the region, for the first evidence of man one finds in the archaeological record is stone tools and butchered animals finds. A famous dig at Spumoghetti revealed 3 Gompothere elephants seemingly butchered with the primitive stone tools found all about them,
Over time the landscape changed, perhaps people hunted away all the large animals, but in more recent layers we find that the beautiful forests are gone, replaced in the lowland basins by scrubby grasses and even cacti, showing that perhaps the rains stopped, or the soil became unable to hold water, and humans began to gather into villages of adobe. These people were no longer eating big game, but instead reliant upon hares, tortoises, lizards, and beginning to make the first forays into agriculture. We find early forms of wheat and millet, and soon pottery begins to replace carefully carved and polished vessels of stone. Not long after this strata, we see the rise of identifiable city states. Gelatuna, Beenoween, Bedzore, and Cantanasta especially have revealed ancient cemeteries that yield an impressive array of artifacts from which we can deduce the stratification of society, with high status graves giving up stunning examples of chalcolithic technologies, armor composed of llaminated plates, metal clad weapons, and of course the famous “Helmet of Alkerbalony” the beautiful boar’s tooth and seashell composite headgear finished with fine clad plates in hammered relief of tiny scenes of hunting and warfare and mythology. No recognizable writing exists from this era but mythological motifs with continuity into the historical period decorate pottery and metal work and even bone, and presumably wood was also used for carving and decorating as well, though none survives. The team from Polyesterdelphia Polytechnic excavating the Ceeweedo site claim to have found evidence of some sort of potential early script in some rather unusual deep scratching on objects they recovered, but this is controversial at best. Nonetheless it shows that individuals were marking objects on the eve of the dawn of writing.
The first unequivocal writing shows up in the burned ruins of the Oleofogo “palace of Pepsin” site, where small bronze plates with a very early form of Etrulian has been written in characters quite clearly derived from Agogian pattern, though difficult in the extreme, tentative readings indicate that these plates record counts of livestock and produce , theorized to be a record of sacrifices in honor of deceased members of the Pepsin household, intended for a public mortuary display.
Historical Antiquity.
With
the rise of writing we begin to learn about the world of ancient
Etrulia as witnessed by the eyes of it’s own people. Among the
first personages we learn of is a Thunder Lord Bufobu who lead a
successful campaign from Montcalifler into the Plum Valley and up on
to the Achellesian Hills to attack the settlement that we know as
Pizzaltzio today. Quickly there seems to rise a number of rival
confederations under religious priest-kings. Three principle centers
sharing a language, writing form and cultural complex can be
discerned; Montcalifler, Vitapotata, and Aggadi, while in the south
a culturally separate people appear at Piastre with markedly unique
forms of material goods, a cremation burial pattern, pottery and
metal work has a marked similarity to contemporaneous finds at
Oltanufaful and Bumrussy on the Mimeograph Valley of Guapamolotl.
Though if there is an actual connection is anyone’s guess at this
time. For some 300 years the Western city states squabble and raid
one another, while trade and cultural dissemination changes the
people of Piastre who adopt the Etrulian writing system and adapt it
to the Piastre tongue just as that language begins to give way to
Etrulian, leaving us with just enough scraps to see that it’s
probably a language isolate and leaving us stumped for the rest.
Glutcleus
the 17th ,or possibly 19th ,son of Testocleus
Drupus of Piastre first comes to our attention via a letter from the
philosopher Sophsopes in which he makes a famous if unprintable pun
on the Princes name and then requests a slave skilled at beating and
three cartloads of whithy switches “no larger around than a boys
finger”. Later we see the young prince as a war leader in his
fathers siege of Jeendy where he famously leads an attack of bravos
over the city wall and opens the gates for his father to sack the
city. When Testocleus dies in the famous charge on the wall of Puth,
it seems Glutcleus was raiding for supplies somewhere near
Sauvequputh as he encounters his brother Burpogones at Hob, here we
are unsure quite what happens, but Burpogones seems to have been
given rule over Puthpoint in exchange for support, as the two of them
rapidly consolidate his fathers Army and march back North almost
before news of the disaster had reached his many brothers. Azineus,
Drupus Minor, and Grittypeasian, his three most powerful and oldest
brothers were swift to meet him in arms near Vitapotata, the battle
at first did not go well for Glutcleus, Drupus Minor personally
killed Glutcleus favorite, one Silquepanteus, before being killed
himself. In this tight spot , near to losing everything, entered
Nasalonginus and Laziliabedes his half brothers by his Aunt Unclia,
These two had marched from Bertwood with an army of spearmen, and
hitting Azineus and Grittypeasian’s phalanx in the flank, crushed
them, capturing Grittypeasian, who suffered the horrible punishment
of being buried alive with the dead of the field.
Now all greater Etrulia was in full civil war, Glutcleus had about 6 brothers in support, and the remaining 12 vying for power soon were reduced to four alliances. Glutcleus, Nasalonginus, Laziliabedes, Burpogones, Testocleanderades, and Bosphartes held the largest force of long hardened men in three strong phalanxes with a contingent of wild deer-riding barbarians from Guerat. And a solid base in Jeendy, Piastre, and Sauvequeputh. His brothers Albatiteus, Capricoprates, and Coclepituetes were in possession of the Bedzore-Aggadi region and well supplied with Bertwood archers. Pituetephagius, Neeplolacader, Urinopedes, Tupuarseus, and Askimogorio held Pizzalatzio with two phalanges of Achillesian spearmen and a turmae of Guerat terrorbird riders, as well as a small handful of war Gompotheres (elephants). In the North Denydikomeus and Porcodemenseus held the island city of Sandyanna with a garrison made of the Geroisenes Phalanx, a reserve formation of old men and wounded, and in addition had some mercenaries from Agog.
In
Chillember the Piastrian army marched up the Gelatuna road, Here
Bosphartes was detailed to invest the town with a small force, while
the remainder continued north seeking battle. At Vitapotata they
encountered Capricoprates with a single phalanx attempting to gather
supplies, his force being largely dispersed over the countryside, he
was in no position to resist, but his retreat was swiftly cut off,
his force, beaten in detail, and he himself thrown into the
Bentborder and eaten by Sarcodiles. Glutcleus then turned South to
Pizzalatzio. After two or three days being harrassed by the
Terrorbird riders of Guerat, he met his brothers Tupuarses and
Urinopedes defeating them handily at Cantanasta, the Gompotheres
doing more harm to their own force than to the Piastrians.
Urinopedes then pleaded for mercy and was forgiven, after swearing an
oath and renouncing all arms he was allowed to retire to a villa and
we hear of him no more. Tupuarses fled with remnants of the Geurat
riders and remnants of his hoplites towards Pizzalatzio.
Rather than press on to Pizzalatzio, Glutcleus force marched again, as Albatitues was said to be between Bedzore and Piastre burning his way to that city. Before he could invest Piastre however Albatitues died, having eaten, it is said, what his soldiers were eating, in this case a particularly bad bit of pickled fish, He would be buried in Bedzore with 20 of his poisoned men. His army devolved onto his son, Albatitudidies, but it was short lived. After a late afternoon scrum with Glutcleus leading light infantry, the Aggadian infantry defected to Glutcleus, captured Albatitudidies, and delivered him and many Bedzorians to Glutcleus. Offered clemency Albatitudidies is said to have spat out his tongue. But Glutcleus refused to have him killed. Instead he was taken home under guard, and fixed with golden chains, living the life of prince under house arrest, because, some said, Glutcleus liked his looks, but others that it was because he would not be baited.
At this stage, Glutcleus clearly had the upper hand, but it would be nearly 10 years before his new won empire was fully under control. His brothers were brought to heel roughly. Those who he trusted were watched, those he distrusted, were watched by the worms of the grave.
With the Eturlian heartland in order, and his ranks renewed and retrained, he took the field again, South, bringing the wild men of Geurat under heel, and without pause, as if all Geurat were just an inconvenient bit of tidying up before a job of work, he set upon Muckrump, and had it in a week. Then North to Polkot, Snogthug, a hard fight followed at Muckwarp with the Zuzran of Dogchiewygrad, two long days of blood, but the Zuzran’s chariots were crushed, his elephants killed, his army routed, his person captured, and the short remaining years left him spent in abject debasement as a living furniture for the Emperor’s comfort. Wipikkle welcomed him warmly as they had hated the Dogchiewygradians, and his army grew, Sprucitup too added forces and willingly took him as king.
At
Vaddogg the Emperor celebrated his heir, the birth of Princess Aroma,
not his first child, but the first he would claim. It is said that
Ghlyumn the Soothsayer of Gluepin, and Myuscrys of Puth, and
Gnositides of Trombony, the three wisest men of the day, all joined
as one to convince the Emperor to raise her to the Purple having
seen in the stars, the wind, and the waves prognostications of
greatness. They were not wrong, though it was a terrible greatness.
Two years later, still on campaign, besieging Shrudle the last hold
of the Grozytes, he passed. It isn’t known how, but what is known
is that his brother Laziliabedes, raised Aroma upon his shoulder,
acclaimed her the Empress, and made himself the Imperial Regent, and
the royal mother, Armaroma, was swiftly married to Laziliabedes, and
just as swiftly executed. A mistake that would haunt Laziliabedes in
the year of Aroma’s succession. She showed mercy to his services on
her behalf, by not killing him, and took her revenge for his crime by
torturing him slowly over a decade.
The Empress Aroma took the throne like a blacksmith’s forge, with fire and tongs and brutal hammer blows. She welded the towns conquered by her father into a single state, a true Empire. She chained her vassals, shackling them with fear and reward, she taxed the wealthy to keep them weak, and spent on the poor to gain their trust. And she built. Tearing down city walls she made public spaces, baths, theaters, racetracks, and public housing.
She redistributed lands to her soldiers and set them to work making better fields and building granaries. And she raised the Horse Mother above the other gods, building her temples in every town. Temples that were symbols, that were armories, that were banks, that were a foundation of public order. And when the Goorsi barbarians rose against her, her legions beat them hard against the mountains, and only those who joined the wild-men of the peaks to become the Peakoshi of Gross Montaine survived, survived to harbor and nourish the old grudge. Even today in the old rural places of Gros Montaine, the stories of the Ogress Armro are told to frighten children into behaving.
Thus
while Bentwood was still a tribal swamp, and the buslopbian highlands
just the wandering grounds of stone age barbarians, the Eturlians had
fashioned an empire with all the benefits of government; roads,
sanitation, taxation, and rule of law. Their polity stretched over a
good quarter of the Dragaloon continent, and would shape Civilization
in the Northern half of Ornria for centuries.
By the middle ages the empire had undergone many changes. The Emperors powers had waxed and waned, civil wars and power struggles wracked the landscape. To gain temporary ascendancy Emperors traded their power, bargaining with their followers , making them into war lords in their own right. Taxation to the throne dwindled. With it, the ability of the Throne to pay it’s legions grew ever smaller, while contenders took even more revenue away.
The Mantzes, a tribe of modern Mantz, raised a rival emperor in Hamhome, Zawzaj the Fat. Zawzaj fought the Etrulian Geneneral Fizzic for 20 years, driving the Etrulians out of Mantz, Gros Montaine and Southern Oppressorbad as far as Badxi. Fizzic’s death left the Imperial legion to winter in Wippikle, with no pay. The Themearch of Balsabad threw off his allegiance to the Empire and crowned himself Balza I, with no General the Imperial army disbanded and many of the legion joined Balza, turning all the eastern regions into a Guntish Kingdom. Not to be outdone the Countarch of Butterburg declared himself King of the Specific Coast, claiming the Western lands of Opressorbad, and driving the Gunts and Etrulians out of all his holdings.
The rump of the Southern Legion straggled into the Guerat Moolaunds, defeated, weak, unpaid, hungry. They met a new General there; Nukle Velocipedes, who spent a year reforming. It was too late. That year would see an outbreak of terrible plague. It began in Moopighafen, brought, it is said, in a ship from Kinalabash, in two months it was in Puth, 5 months later a courtier records the bodies filling the streets unburied in Piastre, even dogs and pigs were dying of it, and the rats growing bigger than cats, eating the old, and the sick. Perhaps as many as 70 percent of the population was exterminated throughout Guerat and Etrulia in the next two years. And sporadic returns ravaged towns and cities for another 20. with no workers, the fields untended, the food supplies dwindled, irrigation failed. And the survivors, gathered into small castles under Imperial Wardens, were Imperial more in name than reality. Though the Empire lived on, it would fall to Polydentian I to revive the state.
Early Modern Period.
Polydentian I had an advantage, a new kind of legion. Archemandeus the brilliant philosopher, and advisor of Polydentian, introduced gunpowder, cannon, and the harqebutt, and with the General called Kevaliprovides (Sheeps Head), the independence of the Etrulian hills was curtailed, and the empire re-united north of Jeendy. The great Reorganization recognized the importance of the Counts, but subordinated them to the Vestarchs. Archemandeus met a mysterious death, and Kevaliprovides was created the first Vicker. The new Etrulian Empire became insular and weakly carried on, peasants surviving on the barest margins, the Mayors of towns, and the great Counts, all nearly penniless. The Army, a shell, making a bold parade, with finery and plume...but never again equal to conquering and invading.
The modern Etrulian Empire is now rich only in people. Food is guaranteed by the government, but it’s expense is ruinous to the throne, although it’s almost nothing at all to the people at best a diet of ,pasta, tomato, herbs, bread, vinegar and bad wine. \
The army has perhaps the worst quality of equipment in all Ornria. Tourism is perhaps it’s greatest income generator, with the antiquities being sold off to the wealthy, and fees levied on archaeological digs. The Imperial Palace itself is tantamount to a hotel, with stays in it’s frayed luxury easily bought for hard cash. Indeed, a pocket of money can buy nearly anything in Etrulia. The Polyestrine Actress Osavinia Oglavine added to her infamy buy purchasing a county, a castle, and opening her own film studio in Beenoween to ridiculous expense. Her only film, Dust and Disaster, was not well received, but has not seemed to hurt her pretensions in the least, though she has returned to Polyesterdelphia to open an Atelier called Countedbeans.
Etrulia
is Triangluar in shape; about 37 Ornrian feet long by 15 North to
South. It’s landscape is dominated by two volcanic peaks; Titesian
and Oilypanier, a volcanic cladera at Poona Pot, and the hard plaster
pan called the Ercul Plain, stretching north to Rhunridgia,, and
the Brazorbia Peninsula. Nothing grows on the Ercul Plain and
Brazorbia. The Mudoplia Flats are as the name implies the site of
ancient mudflows, and today the hardpacked clay has little growing on
it, but is instead a cracked tesseract of useless land with just
enough sparse scrub to keep lizards, donkeys and small goats barely
alive. Rising to the Ooups Plateau, here the volcanic soil and
rains from the Ghargle Coast allow the growing of Olives and Grapes,
and Millet, but the returns are poor for the effort. The
Achellisian Hills are the garden of Etrulia. Here rains water the
soil, marine breezes cool the land, and the soils produce better than
anywhere else, save Plumb Valley, where the Emperor’s own farms and
cattle are and his greatest treasure the Galish Lead mine.
The rough land of Dongladia is the rocky barren home of poor fishermen, most of whom push out into Garum Bight seated on bladders or reed bundle boats. The fish they catch is important to the poor of Piastre, as fish is perhaps the main protein most etrulians eat.
Climate.
The Climate of Etrulia is best divided into four regions. The Ercul Plain is tropical pan desert, high pressures keep the air motionless, and relentless sunshine bakes the shadeless landscape. the Ooups Plateau is hot and tropical, but winters can be dry. The Achellisian Hills and Plumb Valley, are the most temperate, the sun balanced by cool breezes, frequent light rains, and no more than occasional storms. And Mt. Oilypanier, once completely orested with rosemary, olive, cork, and other fragrant shrubs, still has some of this Mediterranean woodland left, though much of the mountainside has reduced to tough grasses by the grazing of dwarf goats, and hares.
Fauna
Animals most likely to be seen in Etrulia are the Ass, which replaces other beasts of burden here, the dwarf goat, the hare, lizards, scorpions, spiders, beetles, and wasps and flies in plenty, the air sports hawks, sea eagles, songbirds, and flies, flies, everywhere the clouds of pestering flies. Big Sarcodiles still inhabit the Bentborder River. And the seas teem with fish,
Government
and politics
FORM OF GOVERNMENT.
Etrulia is an Empire. The current Emperor, Joanna Jojosephat Jojohnjerryjosephjakes XXV is by law, the Chief justice, chief executive, Head of the Armed Forces, Head of the Cult of the Horse Mother, Head of the Council of Vickers (ergo the chief of what passes for legislature) Master of the Imperial Engineers, Prefect of the Schools, and Quartermaster General of the State . He is also a non entity. The Actual leaders of Etrulia are the Vickers, and the Vestarchs. The Vestarchs are the high nobility of Etrulia, the Oligarchic families that both hate one another, and simultaneously close ranks to protect their privileges, the chiefmost of which is the right to recommend to the emperor candidatess for the Vickerage. These are the real lords of Etrulia. The Vicker has unlimited authority over his sphere. And that sphere is given at the whim of the Emperor. The vicker is a dictator unto themselves, though rivalries between them can cause chaos, the Vestarchs have preserved a balance of power for decades.
LEADERS. FACTIONS.
The
Emperor; Joanna XXV
Jojosephat Jojohnjerryjosephjakes.
The
emperor is, to be frank, a severely mentally disabled person. He has
the intellect of a child, cannot speak beyond a child’s mumbles and
gestures. He is confined to the Palace where his caretakers
carefully stage manage his few public appearances. He is seen by his
ministers as a pet more than a person. Perhaps even as a bit of
jewelry, to be brought out to impress the subjects, then carefully
placed back in it’s velvet case. Even in his presence the veiled
nearly amused disrespect of his Vickers can be read through the
formal obeisances. The treat him as one would a trained orangutan.
Vestarch Manfrid Smeed, Count of Gelatuna
Of the current 7 Vestarchs,; Manfrid is certainly the most ruthless, cunning, intelligent, manipulative, and careful. He has survived more than 20 years in the Office of Vestarch, which may be a record. Unfailingly correct in his manners, Smeed is unafflicted with a conscience, and his control of the intelligence organs of the state is only second to his private organs of information gathering. It’s difficult to know what his true ambitions or aims are. In fact, impossible is a better word. After many years of observation it’s hard to say if Manfrid is expansionist, or reformist, or conservative, or simply interested in survival through power. We can say he will brook no rival that he does not control, and that he dominates the Emperor completely. He is the true dictator of Etrulia.
Arrayed against the Vestarch Manfrid are many forces, None of the other Vestarchs would spare a tear if they could find an opening to stab him in the back... His greatest rival for power and control is certainly the Buprovers of Vitapotata,
Military
The
Etrulian military is composed of the Army, The Comitat, the Marine
Army (Navy), and the Air Army, and the Public Police. All arms are
rife with division, with Vestarch and Vickers all having factions,
many overlapping. The wasteful infighting is a bewildering forest to
untangle, and corruption is rife. Contracts for military supplies
are supposed to be controlled by the Grand Imperial Military
Commandry. However a grapevine of interests ensures that particular
body is tied in red tape and infighting and in consequence generals
often supply their own units out of pocket. This of course has
become a fabulous opportunity for making money, as does the buying of
ranks. 4 year old Company Commanders, 9 year old Generals, 78 year
old company sergeants are all distressingly common. Supply has
become a fiefdom of the Imperial Comestabulary, controlled by Vicker
Allesandro Lopets, who is incidentally among the richest men in
Pizzalatzio, and owns a great many of the various factories that on
paper supply the military. He is also Inspector General of the Army
, though not the Comitat or Public Police, and the Air Army tends to
ignore his legal control as it’s the private fiefdom of Vicker
Izdolp Yikkersatzer., who has his own supply arrangements. Vestarch
Manfried handles the comitat and the Public Police himself, through a
dummy company and a “commitee of efficiency in rationing”.
The Army itself is believed to possess 12 understrength foot infantry regiments, though only 5 are on paper as operational, at least 5 others are shadow battalions privately controlled by various houses or interests. The individual soldier is poorly equipped at best. Ersatz gear is the norm, at least where gear exists. Guns are usually dummies. Domestic rifles more dangerous to the firer than the enemy, canteens of waxed paper, boots of heaven knows what sort of laquered dryer lint...the list is extensive. Bullets of compressed chalk with sawdust powder....
The
army also has an armored regiment, the Phalangia Primatine . Though
“armored” might out to be in quotes. It’s believed only one
platoon is truly operational. The Prime Company of the PP is
currently armed with home built copies of the Mantzian medium tank,
but the first platoon operates the much superior PDSR exported T55.
It’s observed that for parades a variety of dummy vehicles are used
to hide the paucity of functional armor.
The Imperial Comitat is an Army to itself, complete with a miniature navy and airforce. It’s commander is the Vestarch Manfrid Smeed of course. It’s the best supplied formation, and the only adequately trained one. It’s notionally the Imperial Guard du Corps. But operates more as a combination political police in Pizzalatzio, and a private strike force of the Vestarch.
On paper the Air Army has 3 Wings. In actual fact it is a half a wing of flyable fighting planes, and another one of transports and 2 flying boats that can and have been pressed into tactical service as bombers. Vicker Yitzersattzer runs the force as his own private army, including a “security platoon” of near battalion size as his bully boys. His aircraft are more often seen flying luxury goods in and out of his base; the Splatzencraken Military Airfield, than anything resembling a military operation. He does have a small squadron of acrobatic flyers, the Etrulian White Eagles, that puts on airshows and impress the peasants at the Imperial Birthday Review.
Vikker Lobert’s Imperial Global Marine Army, as the Etrulian Navy styles itself, is in theory composed of two Fleet Commands, the North Fleet and the West Fleet. The North fleet is tiny, 2 destroyes, 1 conversion cruiser, 1 tub that might have been a heavy cruiser 40 years ago in another navy, but is styled a Battleship in this one. The West Fleet is Lobent’s favorite, as his son is the Fleet Admiral. It has two Old steel predreadnoughts; Emperor Gluteus, and Empress Hamilcappy, and three antique cruisers, one newish Polyestrine built light cruiser, and 6 destroyers. In addition a Guerat Seaplane tender and a converted iron passenger liner, as well as a Guerat built sub force of two harbor subs completes this mighty imperial armada. These ships are barely seaworthy it must be said, coal is lacking, the fleet maneuvers haven’t seen a gun fired in 5 years. (10 years ago a cruiser was accidently sunk during a live fire exercise) and the last division maneuvers saw a collision of the flagship with a pier that put it in drydock for 4 years. It is hard to see this as a formidable fleet. Lobent does have a fairly competent company of Marine Infantry however, who are smart, and well supplied and even armed with sub machine guns and other modern gear. Including, it’s said, two modern Polyestrine export tanks. He also has a flight of seaplane fighter bombers and two flying boats under his command.
Economics
Etrulia’s
Economy is a uniquely chaotic form of corruption ridden laissez faire
capitalism. The principle currency is the Aelbo, but the aelbo is
officially minted in three locations and numerous families have
counterfeited them over the centuries to pay their Dependants,
private armies, or workers. Thus Aelbos may be found in many sizes,
a variety of metals, though by Imperial Decree, they only have one
denomination; the 1 Aelbo piece (in antiquity called a Vaekht as a
unit of weight). Each Vickerate family has at least one or two
industrial concerns under it’s control, most have many workshops
and factories of the evilist quality imaginable. Etrulian made goods
are almost worthless on the export market. Etrulian processed food
is disgusting when it’s not deadly. Perhaps the best known is
Spasagem, the famous tinned sausage from Piastre.
The Lobert family runs the plant and it has of recent years just
managed to pass food inspections in the Iind Polyester Freestate,
where it’s now a common protein for the poor. In fact the only
useful article of export is Wine, of which Etrulia does produce a
bewildering number and types, though of tiny vintages, from admirable
Tokay to undrinkable Vinegar.
Agriculture
Etrulian Agriculture is essentially feudal, the farmers who produce are peasants, though what they produce is little enough. Abyssmal over farming destroyed the low lying plains in ancient times, leaving it unable to support a blade of grass, as a consequence really the only well managed farms are the Wineries on the volcanic hillsides. Garum is perhaps the most recognizably National agricultural product, a fermented liqour of fish guts. The nation imports food and cannot feed it’s population with it’s domestic produce. Dried smoked fish plank, cabbage, a little millet, and vinegar are the main staples of all but the wealthy, usually made into Grum, the national dish; a smoky sour soup of smoked fish, cabbage, Garum, and vinegar,
As previously mentioned, the many workshops and factories struggle to produce salable goods. Raw materials are at a premium, so factories often run on a boom and bust cycle with labor being paid by the piece in most factories. Workers consider themselves fortunate to work 20 hours a day, every day, until they drop, are laid off, or meet the inevitable industrial accident. Most factories have filthy little cots on which the laborers sleep, when lucky, 3, or 4 hours a day. Every factory has a Union, and the workers are required to belong, but it’s a sham, the Union is more a propaganda machine than a collective bargaining tool, and completely stage managed by the factory owners. A few holidays give their lives the only bright semblance of relief, but these are few, and generally spent in a carefully managed round of activities planned by the local authorities to ensure control of the crowd and keep it docile. It’s often the only time a laborer sees fruits, vegetables, or any food besides the daily fish soup and vinegar.
Infrastructure and Transportation
The Imperial Raiload and the Imperial National Roads are perhaps the single best institution of the Etrulian state. These are products of the Imperial National Penal Construction Directorate, and prisoner slave labor has engineered, constructed and maintained the system for many centuries now. A divisioin of the Imperial Household, the INPCD is currently run by it’s Commisioner; Vestarch Manfrid, with uncommon efficiency. The railroad is almost profitable, surprisingly, and provides a luxury passenger service that is world class, if staffed entirely by convict labor.
There is no national electric grid. Pizzalatzio, Montcalifler, and Vitapotata have rival electric firms, but power is expensive and poorly supplied. Montcalifler and Vitapotata firms use DC, Pizzalatzio has DC and AC firms. Most electric appliance have to be rented from the electric supplier. There is no Telephone service except those privately installed and managed. Cities have rival firms that are literally cut throat. Neighborhoods often see wars, and many residents have three or four telephones, each usable only by a particular companies network.
Demographics
Population
With 19560 residents, the country could be called “teeming”. The majority live in tenement style blocks, or peasant hovels near their masters. The great family concerns often build warehouses, factories, etc as virtual compounds, so many workers never travel at all, and rarely see beyond the horizon of work and sleep.
Culture
Music
Etrulians have a wonderful history of court music of the finest quality. Ballads extending back to medieval times, and a folk music tradition to be proud of. There is the Imperial Opera house, in Pizzalatizo that is a wonder to behold. And the Piastre Symphonic Amphitheater is a delight. Even the poor attend though limited to the “Stand” open platforms far removed and often screened from their betters.
Arts
Etrulians do not have a great tradition of cinema, nor is painting particularly noteworthy. Plastic arts fare better though, Etrulian ceramics are widely admired, and the workmen stonecarvers of Cantelopia though unlettered in the main, under a competent master produce very excellent plaster and marble statuary.
Cuisine
It’s difficult to write much of the Cuisine of Etrulia, food is so limited and scare for the majority of the nation, and proximity to the sea, or the farm tends to limit the low cuisine to Grum soup. The wealthy of course, generally have chefs of international repute, and there are a few fancy dishes a visitor might encounter; the Zippata, a flavorful meat pie made famous by the Zippata Grand Hotel in Pizzalazio, and the delightful Smorginsup of Piastre’s Smorgin Hotel are examples.
Among the lower class Wrassel is the favored sport, this is an antique form of wrestling, and quite violent. The wealthy prefer the Dogcart Races, another leftover from antiquity, in which drivers routinely smash themselves and their dog teams into bloody masses.