Glummies Advance in Guntland

 from the Rockrump Morning Mail of Piefestober 2nd.  an article by Nedulum Nostrail.  

In Oppressorbad street fighting continues in Styrofoamybad between the combative religious extremists commonly called Glummies, and the national forces of Chairman Grimjaw.  Glummies armed with light machineguns and rifles have forced thier way from the outskirts towards the Motherland Steam Rail Station, and the Factories along the Clearmuck Waterfront.  Captain Colonel Grittoplast of the 76th National Legion has erected barricades on the routes leading to the National Plaza, and Chairman Grimjaw himself has been seen assisting the troops moving up field artillery.  On Fryday Evening Grittoplast's men opened fire upon a large body of Glummies, and halted the advance, while bugles near the waterfront indicated that the radical witches had  subverted railway operations, probably to bring artillery of their own up the line.  The civil war between the Oppressorbad National Government and the Guntish old Religionists continues to be cruel and unforgiving.  National forces are reported to have massacred injured fighters, while the Glummies have routinely burned mayors, librarians, doctors and teachers in the towns and villages they have gained control over.  It remains to be seen which faction will come out on top, but undoubtedly the common citizen of Oppressorbad will lose either way.