Glummies Advance in Guntland

 from the Rockrump Morning Mail of Piefestober 2nd.  an article by Nedulum Nostrail.  

In Oppressorbad street fighting continues in Styrofoamybad between the combative religious extremists commonly called Glummies, and the national forces of Chairman Grimjaw.  Glummies armed with light machineguns and rifles have forced thier way from the outskirts towards the Motherland Steam Rail Station, and the Factories along the Clearmuck Waterfront.  Captain Colonel Grittoplast of the 76th National Legion has erected barricades on the routes leading to the National Plaza, and Chairman Grimjaw himself has been seen assisting the troops moving up field artillery.  On Fryday Evening Grittoplast's men opened fire upon a large body of Glummies, and halted the advance, while bugles near the waterfront indicated that the radical witches had  subverted railway operations, probably to bring artillery of their own up the line.  The civil war between the Oppressorbad National Government and the Guntish old Religionists continues to be cruel and unforgiving.  National forces are reported to have massacred injured fighters, while the Glummies have routinely burned mayors, librarians, doctors and teachers in the towns and villages they have gained control over.  It remains to be seen which faction will come out on top, but undoubtedly the common citizen of Oppressorbad will lose either way.

Archaeology! from the Polyesterdelphia Tribune a clipping;

 cut this out for the scrapbook today. 

15th Division near Vinalville

 The 1st Pufflumi Musketeers allowed me to accompany them on a long hike North of the Snootstream near Vinalville.  The autumnal weather was delightful as the cheery troops swung in a loping stride towards the Vindsoc fort.  The smoke of cigarettes and happy banter of our well fed fellows was a charming contretemps to the leafy snap of the air and the neighs of the Officer's horses.

       Major Melon of the Musketeers was jovial, and  only needed a bit of prodding to find the proper road by the antiquated garrison map.  I'm left in no doubt that the professionalism of our officers is well fitted to the task of holding the Oppressorbad border. 

Front Page news, Dolllarstore Row parade!

 

Scrap of a letter I found stuffed in a History of the herbs of Northwest Pufflum

Exerpt from Letter to Albresh Glariot.

Well, the missus and I took the flyvver to Vinalville up the A1. It’s a nice drive, charming countryside, rolling downlands, and the autumnal colors in the trees is breathtaking. Anyhow, her sister in Pufflumi was needing a visit, and I took the opportunity to check in on progress in the Northwest.

The report will be mixed at minimum I’m afraid. The Two divisions under General Pasteboard are sadly lacking. The 15^th and the 6^th exist in name only. The 1^st Pufflumi Musketeers are housed in an old stone watchtower, I’d be concerned at the spartan accommodation's minuscule size, except the “Regiment” consists of exactly one company’s worth of men, and a small Machine gun section. The supply for the unit can afford 100 rounds per man, though how on earth they’ll move that copious superfluity is anyone’s guess as the single antiquated supply service truck is up on blocks in the parade ground due to lack of tires...a requisition that has languished in limbo for thirteen months it seems.

Colonel Warmwater assures me that it will be filled this week. Warmwater is hardly a source of confidence however. He drilled his “regiment” for me, a display worthy of a carload of clowns rather than the backbone of national defense in the North. Oppressorbad is laughing at us, and it’s no wonder that sources report trains and munitions being moved to Laducat and Bigdog… the invasion is coming Albresh, and it’s going to be a hurricane fended off with a paper fan.

The Snooty Zouaves were if anything, worse. They muster a whopping 8 men, 3 of them antiquated Pufflumi bankers so rotund they might best serve the state as a sort of meat fascine. They have MUSKETS, Alb, black powder muskets, and the armory includes age-of-sword helmets and pikes! What are they going to accomplish against a legion of Black Oppressorbad stormtroopzen; food for daisies I suppose?

The two “Regiments” of Lancers assigned to the 15^th have exactly 2 motorcycles, four “training tanks” made of fabric and cardboard intended to be manually hoisted by it’s “crew”. And a 50 year old Goslow taxi converted to military use. I’m immediately sending letters to demand next weeks run of Lancer tanks be diverted North. And perhaps we can find at least ONE driver that’s used something more modern than the plow horse.

Did you know we had a Paratroop regiment in Pufflumi? Neither did Colonel Footfall, who seemed surprised at the notion that his 3 sergeants and underweight batman might be called on to jump out of airplane someday; though what airplane remains to be seen, as the craft assigned to the Regiment is a fabric biplane powered by what I’m certain is a motor removed from a kitchen mixer, and capable of barely hoisting the pilot and a passenger into the sky, given a few yards of runway, strong headwind, and no expectation to climb higher than the average house.

Colonel Brassboot’s 2^nd Pufflumi Musketeers is the only bright spot in the Northern sector. Admittedly they are undermanned as well, but they can hold the old fort at Vindsoc, of that I’m certain. They muster almost a full battalion, and the Regimental Sergeant Major Brickthews is a paragon, his men are trained, competently trained. I wish they had material worthy of them. The fort is equipped with 40 year old mortars, massive, but dubious. They also have a beautiful 220mm gun captured from Gross Montaine in that unpleasant business 12 years back. It’s a marvel for it’s age and I think we should produce a few more examples to the same pattern for the 6^th Division, which at the moment is using muzzle loading guns from the Saber and Saddle era. This gun and this regiment may be the key to holding the Coast here.

South of Rockrump is the General Slipshin’s 6^th Div. I don’t think there are 40 men across it’s 7 regiments. Most of them manning the cannon of it’s two artillery regiments, It’s Dragoon tank regiment has 1, yes, a single one tank. And it’s the experimental one we were saddled with by the illustrious firm of Jackrabbit and Sons out of Gobsnoke. The troops use it to bake bread on hot days, and indeed it’s better fitted as an oven than as a tank.

Oh and the Materwich Lancers??? They Have Lances! No horses mind, just two superannuated mules, one old camel and a riding hippo named Corporal McBitey.